SPECTRE
Chapter Eight: Gaz -In the End-
One thing/I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
[All I know]
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watched the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on/Didn't even know
I wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried/It all fell apart
What it meant to me/Will eventually/Be a memory/Of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter...-
In video games the good guys are always supposed to win. You're supposed to win. Whether you do or not is up to your abilities. If you die it's not the game's fault.
This isn't a video game. In this world, the most we can hope for is to save our little piece of it. And when we can't, whose fault is it?
Life can't be blamed for how fucked up it gets.
I can feel the drug wearing off. Feeling is returning to my fingers, I can move my hands and feet. A lot of good it does me. It's too slow. Too damn slow! It's been too long already, and the delay has cost us everything, I know. I still feel numb, and the drug has nothing to do with it.
A deep, muffled rumbling noise is coming from outside. I can't see out the window; it's blocked by the couch. I don't need to, though, it's obvious enough what the sound is. And all I can do is sit here and listen as it comes closer, strain my ears for some hint of what's going on in the lab. Nothing. For what seems like hours, it's only silence. It's ages before I begin the long crawl down the hall.
I'm nearing the lab door when it opens.
He walks out. His skin is not just pale, it's chalky. His black hair is still in the mess it was in when he arrived, though it looks like he shoved his hands through it a few more times and rubbed it around for good measure. Silver glints in the hand hanging dead by his side.
His eyes are blank. They stare blindly as he passes me without notice. He walks on, to the front door, stands on the porch for a few moments, staring at the sky, at the magenta forms flying over the city, the explosions going off in the near distance. One of the larger ships buzzes the roof, nearly hitting the second floor. He ignores it.
Without a sound he sinks to the ground, stares at them all, and doesn't move.
I stumble on the last step down.
I don't have to see the still form on the tile floor to know he's...there's no life left in this place.
Before I've reached Zim I can see the small figure curled up at his side. GIR's lying next to his master, clutching his squeaky moose toy. His eyes are dark and empty. There's not a scratch on his tiny body.
Zim's antennae hang limp. His skin is light, almost transparent. There's a hollow syringe beside him. He weighs next to nothing as I lift him into my lap. I fight down a shudder; his back already feels like ice against my hands. A few specks of red dot the bandages wrapped around his chest. It would've contrasted sharply with his usual green tone. His eyes are closed, and I hate myself for being thankful for it.
The sounds get closer. The explosions are very real. The house shakes more than once. The lights go out. I don't bother to wipe the tears from my face, just sit in the dark and hold him. I couldn't be there before; I will now.
The roar intensifies. I sit in the dark and let it all come down.
Doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me/I'm surprised
It got so [Far]
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
[In the end]
You kept everything inside and even though I tried/It all fell apart
What it meant to me/Will eventually/Be a memory/Of a time when
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter...-
-'In the End', Linkin Park-
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